A letter to me...

It's funny how at one point in my life I never thought about running, Never ran, never talked about running, never read about running, never dreamed about running.  In my latest transformation into a runner I obviously now, run, talk about running, read about running and dream about running.  Because of my new found fondness of all things running I have started reading some runner blogs.  Due to my extreme (although MUCH cut back) connections on Facebook, I stumbled across two new blogs.  Both are fantastic running blogs but one touched me deeper than I expected I would be touched when I typed the blog address into my tool bar.

Run Far Girls blog the night I happened to read it was a blog where she wrote a letter to her body.  A letter apologizing for all the extreme things she had put her body through.  I read it and I sat there.  I sat there and thought how true, we as women NEVER think of what we put our bodies through.  Whether its starving it, over feeding it, hating it, complaining about it, hiding it, changing it or even forcing it to wear shoes of pure pain.  It is time that we step up and acknowledge what we put ourselves through and maybe take into consideration some kind changes that we can make.  Why do we torture ourselves so?  Yes, society is probably the reason.  We all want to be what is pretty, normal, perfect but for once can we just be us?  So here is my letter to my own body, one that I haven't really been kind too.

For the most part of my 30 years, I have hated you.  At certain points in my life I have loathed you more than others.  I always remember wanting to change you.  To make you shorter, to make you skinnier, to make you curly haired and tan.  I loathed you from the shape of your feet and the size of them all the way to the plain Jane straight as a pin thin hair on the top of your head.  At times I didn't feed you and I hid you.  And then I started to feed you but only the most poisonous of foods.  I forced food into you until you grew and exploded and then I loathed you even more.  I changed your hair color, only wore flats, spent time in tanning beds and on crash diets.

Then when you refused to work properly and give me what I wanted most in the world I wanted a whole new body, one that wasn't fat and broken and mousy looking.  I raged wore with you on the inside everyday while I held a smile to your face for the world to see.  Then, then just when I thought you were the most useless piece of crap a miracle happened.  You grew my baby girl.  You grew the most precious thing in the world for me two times now.  And while you are yet still broken and #3 hasn't happened yet.  I began to see your purpose.  I began to see that those toes that I hate looked so darn cute on a baby, the weight you were holding on too began to fall off and you were accomplishing all these things that I never thought you would be able to do, your hair is still plain and mousy but now the little girl you made likes to watch you curl it or brush it and it just makes your face smile so bright.

Dear body I have put you through so much yet you still seem to surprise me with a love and loyalty that I do not deserve to have.  You have withstood the test of time.  You have entered a new decade with me, smaller than you have ever been and healthy as ever.  You can run, jump, squat, plank, lunge, climb and just be.  After all of these years I now have the confidence to wear you proudly.  Rock on body, rock on.  You may not be what I always wanted but you have been what I have always needed.  I am sorry it took me 30 years to realize this.  From here on out you and I are going to be just fine, if only you can give me curly locks....KIDDING!

Girls Night!!!

There really is nothing better than always having your favorite go to girl, love the things you love. Even if she's only four. Tonight was awesome. Way better than a big girls night out with drinks (wellllll occasionally big girl nights are better, who am I kidding a good drink is needed every now and then!).

Princess Pie and I headed out to support End 68 Hours of Hunger, the nonprofit that we volunteer for, by catching a dance studio. It was perfect. A former dancer, who after 15 years of dancing and almost as long being off stage, WHAT really I'm that old?! And my little current ballet obsessed mini me found our seats and waited for the curtain to go up. I figured since we both love dance, love supporting good causes and it would be the exact stage that the Princess herself would be on in just a few short months that tonight would benefit us in more than one way. And I wasn't disappointed. The show was fantastic!

And as if the huge smiles and constant mom mom did you see that one, wasn't that a great show. What was your favorite comments weren't enough I also had the bonus of having a parenting choice validated. I used to dance and lets just day my studio wasn't too notch and the reason I have been off stage for 12 years is due to a dance related injury cause from poor instruction. Because of that I was wishy washy and nervous on where I would enroll my little. Seven dance studios were represented tonight. It was all their older dancers performing and I was very very pleased with how Pies current dance studio stacked up against the rest. Brixham knows its stuff and looked the part out there. While my first ever dance studio was in attendance as well and well the difference was clearly noted.

So recap: girls night with my best girl EVER!, helping a good cause, sharing a passion we both have AND validation. As Repunzel would say, BEST. DAY. EVER!!!!!

Sleeplessness

It's been difficult to sleep lately. I normally have a very troubled sleeping pattern but its worse than normal lately. I had some blood work done on Friday and waiting for the results is a bit maddening!!!! You see the results could give me answers. It could explain my infertility and change my life forever.

If I understood why we are now on cycle 8 of TTC number 3 I would feel better about things. If the reason was known then it could also be fixed right?! Along with testing for a thyroid problem they also are testing hgc levels for a pregnancy. While I know that a positive pregnancy test is not likely and almost impossible I can't help but hold on to a bit of hope. After all, what would life be with out holding on to some hope?

Now my goal for the night is to fight the urge to google, googling things when you can't sleep is NEVER a good idea, and curl up and sleep soundly.... Lol yeah right. At least Pinterest is a good time warp :0)

Walking, talking, hair cuts OH MY!!!!

Ugh my baby is 13 months today. He's a walking, talking, climbing ball of monster trouble and he brings a huge grin to my face every day. His word list is expanding by the day. He now says; dad, mom, Ella, dog, cat, up, down, hi, no, balloon, more, nana and has said grandma once. His all time favorite activity is climbing in his chair looks at me and stands up. Says no, down and laughs. He knows all sorts of naughty things that will make mommy laugh as I redirect the little bugger. He has 4 teeth, two bottom and 2 top. The top two however are his eye teeth. Lol. I call him baby Edward.

The other day he weighed in at 19.2 pounds meaning he's only gained about a pound and a half in the last 7 months. So not quite the chunkeroo anymore.

His tool bench is his favorite toy playing or hours and hours with it. He likes music on during meals and just eats and dances. The giggles are never ending and he asks for naps around 9:30 and then again around 1:30. He's good a pointing, waving and blowing kisses and always thinks tooting is the most hilarious thing!

If all on those things weren't grown up enough today my little guy had his first hair cut. Grampy took him down to the shop at half time and gave around his ears a trim. Where did my baby go???!!!! Just yesterday I was feeling the tiny kicks to my ribs and dreaming of what would be. Never did I imagine a little boy as laid back, care free and fun as my little man. Not to mention handsome to boot! I am so very blessed.

I guess now is an ok time to mention. I want number 3 and would like to have it soon!!!! However, little guy is not so grown up that I can't enjoy the baby snuggles and fresh from the bath baby scent still. He will always be my baby boy!

Pinterest

Wow what a beginning to the new year. Our house has been extremely sick since we rang in 2013, and I'm just now thinking the end of the sickies is almost over. PHEW!!! It has been forever since I've slept that the few hours I did get last night makes me feel like I've spent the weekend relaxing at the spa... Ok well no but it the sleep did give me the energy to want to blog today. And since I'm sitting at the allergists for the next hour, with nothing to do as they inject me with minuscule amounts of venom (4 times), I figured hey why not write. After all I'm ALONE which is never the case an I'm usually trying to entertain two kids in a waiting room during this time. Ahhh so heavenly right?

Anyway, y'all are probably like why is the title Pinterest with all this blabbing about sickness and allergy shots, I'll get on with it then.

Pinterest the new Internet obsession. We live in the age of Facebook and Pinterest and I love it! While I have cut down on my Facebook time and essentially have narrowed down my friends list to only those is actually pick up the phone and talk to I have spent more time then ever on Pinterest. I have more time because I get my stuff done during the day and once the kids are in bed I have hours of me time due to Mr. Brown studying for his PE exam. Now, you can argue that Pinterest is another way for Moms to feel discouraged and lacking but I disagree. It gives my non crafty mind ideas for the kids, the house and my marriage. I have a board for just about everything. Kids, crafts, food, bucket list, inspiration, laughs, fitness and marriage. It's awesome to think oh let's do this today or try that recipe. Or the fact that I've used my motivational running sayings ice pinned to get me through just about everything. Because I have stuck with it I am 5 pounds away from goal, never thought I would ever get to say that!!!! Or see my weight in the 120s! I am now currently pinning organizational tips for me to stay on top of things as D switches to a compressed 10 hour a day schedule. I now have dinner to cook at the end of the day and I need all the help I can get in that area. My plan is to have an activity table set up in the kitchen so that the kids have fun and unique things to do as I muddle my way through recipes preparing wholesome clean foods for my family. And of course Pinterest is my go to for ideas on both fronts.

Now do not get me wrong. Some pins I know I'll never try but I like looking at them and some I've tried and well, uhhumm well I've failed miserably. (Today in fact with our melted bead sun catchers in fact) but some are fabulous and I love the challenge I conquered in checking that pin off my list! Here are some pics of projects done thanks to Pinterest!

guilt free

What do you do when you just don't know what to do?  Mister Mister has been pretty sick since Wednesday. Which was why when I dropped Princess Pie off at school this morning I actually felt absolutely no guilt at all when I grabbed a cup of tea and sat myself on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress for, are you ready?! *GASP* 2, yes TWO, hours this morning.  The sink was full of dirty dishes, the laundry was piled up and waiting, floors were not vacuumed and toys were everywhere.  But I sat. I sat wrapped in a blanket with the dog by my side, sipping tea and analyzing dress choices. 

Holy heck am I glad I took that break this morning, because well lets face it hell broke out as soon as I picked Princess up.  Max who is my normally super chill and happy baby just wants to be held.  And he whimpers and holds his head for most parts of the last few days.  I have been giving him around the clock doses of meds to keep the high fever at bay and just pushing the liquids.  This I have been dealing with and quite well I may add since, I too am not feeling my best and I was still managing to do crafts and projects with Ella.  Well just because I had this balancing act of sick baby, sick mommy and crafty preschooler figured out of COURSE something else needed to be added into the mix.  Ella came home from school today and instead of stripping layers off and putting on her beloved ladybug costume she just started crying and moaning over and over how cold she was.  She put on a fleece jacket with the hood AND her fleece robe on top of her clothes and sat as close to the wood stove as possible just crying about how cold she was and how she needed her daddy.  Without even checking I knew that I now had two whiny kids with fevers. 

This all started around noon time, D gets home at 4:30.  I had over 4 hours of kids just crying and needed extra cuddles.  We did dinner and books and bath and after all this guess what?  I needed to run out to the store and grab pellets for the stove.  Yep, like today wasn't enough I dragged my sorry sweat pant covered ass to the Tractor Supply where I bought and hauled out bag after bag of pellets by myself all so my hubby could have get in his study time.  And when I got home, I heard well half these pellets are good.  You see there were two kinds and I bought exactly the same number of bags of each so I couldn't exactly mess up.  Well, what did I do?  I just smiled and said your welcome.  Left them in the car for him to unload and went in for a repeat of this morning.  I am now once again parked on the couch with tea in hand with SurviorMan playing in the background.  I am thinking I am punching out of the mommy and wife role tonight and just doing ABSOLUTELY nothing. No chores, nothing.  I am being a lazy ass for once and I will NOT feel guilty about it...

Although I will go answer that little voice calling me from her bedroom, after all one more Mommy hug would be nice :0)

10, 9, 8, 7, 6....

It is almost time for the countdown! Wow what a year it has been.  Weight has been lost, miles have been run, challenges and obstacles have been overcome.  A baby has grown into a one year old and a little girl left the preschool stage.  Jobs have come and gone and goals have been met and exceeded.

Just tonight I watched as my baby girl fearlessly laced up the hockey skates and stepped out onto the ice for the first time alone.  The chair she held was soon pushed aside and I witnessed her fly solo across the ice.  The ride home from the family fun of skating, sledding, bonfires and fireworks was full of excited chatter from the back retelling us over and over how much she loved skating. Max was amazed with the fireworks and was secretly walking when no one was looking and squealing with delight as he was pulled across the ice in the sled.

I am so lucky.  Tonight is the 13th year D and I will ring in the year with a kiss and I am very much looking forward to locking lips with the love of my life and welcoming the beginning of 2013.  What will it bring us I am not sure, although perhaps a third little bundle may be on my wish list :0).

I wish that all wishes are granted, laughs come easy and friends are always near to everyone.  If 2012 had any indication I am in for an absolutely fantastic year to come.  My little family is going to just bloom even more and I know that we are going to have one fun year!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!