Special memories

Wow it's been forever and then some since I have logged in and blogged. Time has been a factor, with trying to
balance two kids, the house, errands and now my new job, but honestly inspiration has been a factor too. I just haven't had any write down and share worthy thoughts. I most definitely have had some share worthy memories lately but I've been too busy cherishing them to sit down and share.

Driving down the road today however, Ella had some pretty adorable Ella-isms that were just so adorable I wanted to roll down my window and share with the construction men in the corner. My first thought was I'll post to Facebook but I already have been ribbed about all the picture overloads I'm capable of so I refrained from that then I got to thinking I should have a notebook where I write these down with. It's way too hard to look back through status updates and so I have a feeling all the Ella-isms I've posted will e lost anyway. Then it dawned on me, blog them, DUH! They need to be recorded because they could be used against her, errrr I mean they would make cute readings some day.

So now that I've rambled and sort of built up these adorable Ella-isms let me share them with you. Now the cuteness level is probably based on pure biased opinion but humor me anyway and let out a smile and a great big awwww :0)

(in the car driving home a song called can you canoe comes on kids xm radio) "oh mom it's the canoe song! (a few verses of the song go by) oh mom I just love this song. It makes me think of daddy and makes me want to go fishing with him. It makes me remember the first time he took me fishing and I just love him so I love this song too cause I like thinking about daddy"

(again listening to the radio a couple I songs later a song from The Little Mermaid soundtrack comes on) "you know I wonder if she realizes if she gets feet she would have to get a new daddy. Hers is a mermaid and I think she would be sad and miss him".

Oh and one from yesterday as well even though I did post it on Facebook

"I need some space. I'm feeling like a grouchy sister. Don't worry I'll be back and we can use my imagination, today I want to be a doctor, ok?"

A dozen....

Eggs? Roses? Donuts? Cookies? Nope a dozen YEARS! That's right a dozen years have passed since I was just a girl sitting in study hall and D was just a boy sitting there trying not to be grouchy from cutting weight. Things have most definitely changed and evolved over the years. D no longer cuts weight for wrestling. Now he's my crazy running husband who thinks running a marathon isn't far enough and has his next 50k in the planning stages. I am no longer just a girl, now I am also a wife and a mommy. Our love isn't just the flirtatious infatuation that only high school kids get but a true full of ups, downs and laughs and tears that has bonded us together closer than I ever could have thought waas possible. Over the last 12 years we have graduated high school, graduated college, plotted careers, turned a house into a home and brought the two most precious souls earth side. I love that man with all my heart! For every lost key situation, or messy counter in the morning, dirty clothes not in the hamper and countless other little things that drive me just a little insane there are good sweet times that occur 100 times more often. My husband is a man that will rescue me from the brink of losing it from no sleep by coming home sweeping up both kids, packing them in the stroller and initiating a family run. Coming back taking them both to cook dinner and then doing bath and bed. Leaving me to regroup, get my run in, get some work done and enjoy the cocktail he picked the ingredients up for on his way home to rescue me. He's the type to sing our son back to sleep at 1am so cousy have a break and the chance to sleep. He knows how to step in right before Princess Pie and I go head to head over clothing choices. He just gets me. I know that even when we have rough times that it will all come right again and all that will be left of the rough time is a closer bond and tighter love. Twelve years is a such a short time in the whole scheme of things but it sure has built an endless love between just a girl and a weight cutting boy.

go go go

If you want to stop starting over, then stop giving up.

This body made babies, it can put one foot in front of the other for 13.1 miles.

14 minute miles or 7 minute miles is STILL a mile.

As slow as that was you still lapped everyone who's sitting on the couch.

HELLO again blog world.  It has been FOREVER but I miss writing.  I just haven't really had anything to write about and honestly I have been in a little bit of a funk.  But those little quotes of motivation above along with a fantastic group of women that always love me no matter what I have to say, how bad I suck at running or how goofy I am have pulled me back. 

You see I refuse to make excuses and I refuse to give up because I AM going to run this thing called a half.  I just haven't been feeling the love for myself so I let it go for about a week.  But this passed week I have been back! Sunday D and I hit the road running with the kids, Monday a very dear friend and I pushed through the wall and both ran 4.08 miles.  The furthest either of us had run (me minus the one 10k I ran almost a year ago) and Thursday I got up at 4:30 so an equally determined neighbor and I could put in another almost 3 mile run.  I am BACK and actually I am as slow as ever BUT I am running further so I'll take it.

You see even after accomplishing that this week I was still eh about it all BUT you see I am a person who is not constantly whining (I can't stand whiners!) about wanting to exercise but not being able to because of (insert a number of stupid reasons here) or when they could exercise not doing it but then complaining complaining complaining.  If you do not like something then CHANGE it.  YOU have the CHOICE to make yourself into whatever you want to be.  If you actually want to be the whiny little complaining always looking for sympathy and complements then by all means continue on your way.  But if you actually want some of these goals you whine about then GET UP AND DO IT!

I will be taking my own advice and owning up to every choice I make.  Whether its with my running, my parenting or even my housework.  Yes I will probably get into another funk at some point but there are these women who I know will be there to remind me to get my funk on and then get over myself.  I do have lots and lots and LOTS going for me and from here on out whining is going to be something I try MY BEST not to partake in...

Christina Brown?

Yesterday was the first of my races on the docket for the upcoming race season. It was a small town local race and perfect to see if I could go at it for 3 miles again. It also happened to be D's day for a 20 mile training run. In order to squeeze both things in he left the house at 6am and ran toward the race event to meet me there by 9:15 in order to take the kids so I could run. When the kids and I arrived and checked in we walked around a bit until D showed up. Well he had only run 18 of his 20 miles so he ran I've and signed up to run the race as well. Can we say over achiever? The eve started, Max stayed behind with my old boss, Ella was strapped in BOB and Derrick and I both took off. It didn't take long for him to leave me in his dust (show off) but I kept at it slow and steady like. I managed to cross the line having run the entire 5 kilometers and saw that I was just seconds over my fastest ever time. Had my little lady who lives in my phone been working I am sure I could have picked it up at some point to have finished with my best time but eh who cares I finished. While waiting for the awards to be given (we knew the guy who won the whole thing, D's cousin) I joked with D about probably winning something even though he ran 18 miles before the race and pushed our 3 year old the entire way. And yep sure enough he was called up for winning in his age bracket (damn him!). But then the unthinkable happens. I am standing there talking and I hear fastest female finisher for the 20-29 year olds, Christina Brown. Oh wow cool there is another Christina Brown here what does she look like? No no you say you mean it's me? I won??? No way must have been a mistake. But nope it was me. I did it. I managed to place in one of these 5k things. In a bigger race my time would have meant squat but you see in this one the one I ran it meant I placed. And gosh dang it I'll take that and feel super proud of it on top of it all!!! I am a runner!!!

Yes Baby Girl

Today was Saturday, family day right? Nope, wrong. You see it's spring and spring when you heat all winter with a woodstove means wood gathering, cutting, splitting, stacking season. It means D is up with the sun and out in the yard splitting the wood he went and found, cut and hauled home or out finding more. This Saturday was slightly different in that I could just throw Ella out in the yard with him to give myself a break in the normal weekday schedules since he actually went and helped his dad cut down a tree for wood turning today (side note ya'll should see the bowls that get turned in my father in laws basement, they are GORGEOUS!!!!). Ok so today i was on my own again just like it was a Monday or Tueaday. I hate this. I hate not waking up with my hubby still in bed, I hate not having breakfast together or doing fun family things. But I understand the wood needs to e set up to dry now so it's ready for when it's cold. So today I took the kids on a family outing by myself.

I loaded everyone up, including the dog, and set off for our annual first trip of the season Aggie's run. Aggies is only the best place in the ENTIRE world to get ice cream. And only my Princess Pie respects the sacredness of the first ice cream of summer the way I do. We rolled in and anxiously waited our turn. It was well worth the wait!!! Ella and I shared a special ice cream lunch on the way to my parents house for a round of visits while we waited for Derrick to get back.

On the way home unheard the sweetest request from the backseat. "Mama you know the old cowboy song? Could you sing it to me?" you see the old cowboy song is the song Sweet Baby James by James Taylor. Derrick has been singing that song to Ella since before she was even born and lately it's been a request quite frequently but only daddy could sing. I was so honored this afternoon that I replied. Why yes baby girl I know that song and I'd be happy to sing it. What she doesn't know yet is the reason I know that song. The first time. I mean the very first time I fell in love with D was while we were laying there talking one night, and he sang that song to me. I went home and goggled it so I could listen to it over and over. That song will always bring me back I that night that my heart was first lost to my very own "old cowboy".

How true!

D and I have an on going joke that we are C+ parents. Whenever, one of the kids is dirty, outside without a hat, up really late or numerous other faux pas that would earn us the evil eye from the above it all parent, we look at each other shrug and say yeah C+ parenting thats us. I mean we do, or let our kids do, a number of things that the "best" parents would never dream of doing or letting their kids do. Ice cream for dinner, skip a bath night, have a Wonder Pets marathon when you are just too tired to do anything but for the *gasp* second or even third time in a week. I have picked up a dropped paci and stuck it right back in, used a cart withOUT a cart cover, let the baby sit in a poopy diaper for more than 5 minutes and gave in to the toddler screaming for chocolate just so I could get a shower. Our kids do not have the latest fancy gadgets or best toys. Clothes are hand me downs and thrift store finds, and yes my three year old dresses herself in whatever clothing she chooses. It may not be the best choice for the daily activity (hello new Fairy wings!) but eh whats letting her decide going to hurt anyways?

I joke about this but I often feel like a failure. Like I am not doing enough, teaching enough, or interacting enough. How many books did I read today? Did it make the recommendation? Whens the last time we did a craft? How healthy was lunch? Crap did I just let her drink tonic water and now her bones will develop holes in them? Oh my gosh is she behind in her letter recognition? She doesn't know her age every time I ask? He's not sitting, or rolling? OH.MY.GOODNESS! All these other moms have it so so so together and I just flounder through....

But you see, here is the deal. I read this blog today, and it made me cry and it made me see. This whole social media gamut of things I love doing, Facebook, blogging, Pinterest all of these things AND the local mom's groups make me feel this way. I am CONSTANTLY comparing myself to all of these "better" moms. Ones who have a craft that fits in with their theme of the day, whose lunches are always healthy, organic and served looking like a scene out of a fairy tale, the ones who bring their kids to the park at least once a week. But really, REALLY!, I need to stop doing this. Because at the end of the day given the choice of going to bed with food in their hair, with the mismatched have seen better days blankets still in a half fort on the living room floor since the floors were not vacuumed today, I am certain that my kids will choose ME.

My kids do not care if I get a gold star or A+ at being a Mommy. All they care about is the love that I show them. If I can express half of what I feel for these kiddos then I am doing an outstanding job. I love my kids and as long as they know that well then, thats enough. The floors aren't always cleaned, the toilets aren't always scrubbed. I may not have showered or washed my hair, I may in fact still be wearing yesterdays yoga pants. Craft time my not come this week, neither may the park but you know what? It is OK, my kids have love and well love is all that matters. LOVE is what makes a mommy not how many neat ideas she has. Will I still use Pinterest and pin things that I may one day do with my kids? Heck ya, but I am not going to beat myself up if I never end up doing it, or well I am going to work really hard on not beating myself up anyways :0)

Hippity Hoppity!

What a superb Easter Sunday it was. We truly are blessed in all things. I mean I had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, really couldn't begin to think anything could top that!!! The night of sleep lead into a fantastic family day. Watching the joy on the face of Princess Pie this morning was so heartwarming. And when she took the little brother doll the Easter Bunny left in her basket and gave it to her brother because it was just his size my heart literally burst with pride. She handed that doll over and talked with Mister Mister for 10 minutes about how special and cute he is. Mister was ALL smiles and a ball of cuteness this morning and I can't imagine what life was like before those two precious miracles.

Family morning was packed up and moved over to my parents house around 9:30 and our day of visiting began. First stop my mom and Dad's where muffins, fresh fruit AND mimosas were waiting. Soooo awesome! We then went and visited my grandmother and got some very cute pics of her with the kiddos. Back to my mom and dads again for a late brunch (boy can my dad rock the eggs!!!!) and a couple of egg hunts. One for the little kids and one for the big kids. After 30 mins of running and laughing with just a little pushing, my sister happens to be a little competitive...., we packed it inside to admire the loot and talk. And that concluded Easter part 2 or well 3 since we did an egg hunt yesterday as well.

On to the last round of Easter at the Browns. The kids fell asleep in the car D dropped me off 3.26 miles away from his patents and as they drove home to put wood on the fire I ran my way into the last round of celebrating. It was a battle ground of road let me tell ya! A steady incline the whole way. I did however, run my first mile at a 9:50 pace which is lightening fast for me! The second mile was done at a 9:56 pace and well the remaining was a 10:40 pace. Eh so I'm not fast and maybe walked a few mailboxes but I made it.

The food at this round was so yummy too, hello twice baked potato!!! And of course the wine was flowing. No one seemed to mind my hysterical running attire (should have taken a picture!) and at least they were chuckling at Miss Sass while she sat on the floor in her tiara throwing a fit over having to eat a banana (really should have photographed this. It was quite funny and could have been used as blackmail for future butting of the heads...)

We are now home all is quite and I am about to make this long winded blog entry even longer by adding a slew of pictures that I didn't bombard Facebook with. Aren't you the lucky reader who gets slammed with them here instead :0). HAPPY EASTER!