fall perfection!

Fall is most definetly here!!! I truley love love love this time of year. The smell in the air, the cool nights and mornings, the color changes, the fall flavors, pumpkins, apples, mums you name it and if its a fall thing I love it.

This passed weekend we loaded up the Versa and hit the road for a family fall camping trip. Ella was thrilled that we were tenting it and that it happened to be at a camground a stone's throw away from Storyland!

We set up Friday night in spite of all the rain that was being forecasted for. We figured whats a little rain, we can always go dry out somewhere. But drying out wasn't needed. We spent the night around the campfire, roasting star shaped "marshamelllloooows" and just being together as a family of 3 (with a little kick in the ribs every now and then to remind me we are about to become a family of 4!). D and I talked about how this was Ella's last weekend getaway as an only child and that next year we will be doing this with the addition of a baby and a roof rack carrier for the Versa.

The rain came around midnight and the sound of it on the tent was soothing as I lay thinking things over (yes I am still not sleeping!). Saturday dawned the rain was gone and the sun and some summer temps came out. We hit a pool, went for a hike, found a farm to tour and completely exhausted Ella. When she woke her cousins had arrived and the 4 of them took off like a gang playing on the playground and running while the "big" girls hit the outlets for some shopping.

Sunday was our BIG family day, it was Storyland day!!! Ella is still not completely tall enough but with the right shoes and a hat she passed and she hit all the height requirement rides with a vengence! We spent the day walking around and pretty much closed the park. Little Miss decided to take a nap on the way home (4pm-6pm!) so she was wide awake for the evening. Which was fine since when we got home at 6, I unloaded the car, put everything away, did 2 loads of laundry, cleaned out and organized the coat closet and emptied the playroom of every toy and piece of furniture.

Our "babymoon" weekend was a huge success and we all loved every minute of it. Ella had the time of her life and it makes me sad just a little to think that she will never have times like this again, but I also know how excited she is for her baby brother or sister so it makes me feel a little bit better! Now D is in the process of extreme renovations week, we are living with my parents and our summer of events galore is over :0).... although weekends are not 100% free yet....

Metamorphis....

Change, or evolving into a new thing or pattern can be a good thing. It can be a grand thing. This weekend and first of the week brought about a lot of changes and it started me thinking. Actually, lately all I do is think, it is what happens when sleep evades a person and you are left alone in the wee hours of the night while the house around you is sleeping.

It all started when Ella's caterpillar curled up into its "J" shape and then formed its cocoon. We all know that it will emerge a beautiful butterfly, one of nature's brilliant changes from one stage into the next. As I sat and watched it, while my baby played play dough next to me, I realized how much I have changed in the last few years.

I used to be Type A, I mean you couldn't get any more type A and then add in a little OCD and well you had me. The dishes always had to be done, beds made, floors swept and yada yada yada. You get the picture right? Pretty much an annal retentive bi... I mean bunny. :0) Well now? Now Ella's bed is unmade, there are toys on my floor and I am pretty sure there are lunch dishes in my sink. As for the play dough? I let Ella play with *gasp* TWO colors and goodness gracious I think some of them even got mixed up!!! There may be purple in the white and blue in the yellow...

And you know what? It doesn't bother me! It makes me content to sit and watch her masterpieces come to life. The other day it was snowman building, complete with nose, eyes and a scarf. It makes me happy to know that she is developing and learning while my dishes sit there. I get to spend this time with my baby, everyone knows it goes by way too quickly! And you know what? My blood pressure is probably all the more better for this more lackadaisical attitude. I am ENJOYING life not rushing around trying to make it a perfect life. Don't get me wrong I do clean my house but if I would rather take little miss on a walk around the block first, I do, or if I would rather sit and watch her create, I do that too. After all since I am not sleeping anyway I can do all that stuff when shes asleep for the night.

Other changes that have occurred? Well we welcomed Nolan Joesph into the world on Sunday night and now I get to watch my baby sis enjoy the wonders of motherhood. Ella is in love with him, heck we are all in love with that tiny little wonder of a bean pole!

The wood stove project is about to become full tilt with renovations to the playroom (the room its going in) starting on Monday.

Sprout has reached 26 weeks in gestation!

And on the school front little Miss has embraced it with all her might. She went today with not one tear, gave me a hug and kiss and was off to the morning table for the morning activity. This one made me stop and pause since WOW in one weekend she grew up and doesn't need me as much (insert a few tears here). I picked her up and she has spent the evening teaching us all the songs she now knows....

Of course the weather is changing too, I am so ready to welcome my favorite season! And I am sure there are a billion of other little changes but well I would rather go into the kitchen and chat with Derrick and Ella while they make dinner (thank goodness that hasn't changed! I love having a hubby who likes to take Ella and cook dinner every night!!!) then try to list them all :0)

LIVE LAUGH CHANGE!

Oh and yes speaking of change one last major change, I definitely am sporting a baby bump these days. There is no mistaking I am pregnant. It just came a lot earlier this time than with Ella (another change). Maybe I will be brave enough to post a belly shot soon!

Brag Alert!!!

I am one proud mama tonight!!! I have to say that not only is my daughter super smart and beautiful she is also pretty artistic and did an amazing job with her homework for tomorrow :0) The assignment was to do a self portrait out of crayons, yarn, buttons, and anything else deemed useful in the making of a masterpiece to add to her Me Book at school. I sat Ella down showed her some buttons (she chose 3, two eyes and a nose) some string (she chose green) and then she grabbed the markers. The ONLY part of this project I helped with was squeezing the glue out where she told me and guided me to do so. The results were all her and I am so proud of my little girl. She nailed it. SCORE again for Ella!!!

Take 2!

Today was drop off round two with little princess pie. Ummmm yeah it was sort of a hysterical event. Ella woke up crying and saying "Mommy I love you I don't want to go, I just love you too much". Yep way to break a mom's heart! She also tried so hard to not cry that it broke my heart even more. I hate when she tries to brave it out and wipe the tears away cause she is trying so hard to be a big girl :0/.

I dropped her off and went and sweat it out at the gym for an hour ran a few quick errands and bee lined it back to be in the first round of pick ups today. As I pulled in I saw my blond little princess head bobbing out on the playground *gasp* actually smiling and standing next to other children!!! SCORE Ella! Then Miss Mary informed me that Ella had an excellent day, she calmed down way quicker than Miss Mary thought she would AND chatted it up at the play dough table. *sigh* yep I was a proud mama!!!

Such a good day deserved a special lunch date with none other than Dear Old Dad so we headed to make it happen. Lunch turned into picking Dear Old Dad up and coming home for a whole family snuggle/nap! Really couldn't get much better than having the loves of my life snuggled up next to me. Ella's nap turned into a nap marathon of over 3 hours and D and I got some "nesting" stuff out of the way.

The day wrapped up with a perfect walk to the library where we happened to find a Monarch caterpillar on the way home!!! The caterpillar is now taking up residence in our living room and Princess Pie is excited to see it turn into "a BIG BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!!!!"

Really I love what I do :0)

Fairy Tales

Yesterday marked the end of our wedding attending summer marathon. We attended our 6th and last wedding of this season and I have to say that it went out on a beautiful note. Sitting there in the field where the Bride and Groom spent endless hours walking and talking late at night more then a decade ago, with the never ending blue sky, smell of hay and lemonade in the air and all of the details that made this wedding I was full of happiness and joy. Afterall I was sitting there next to the love of my life.

The ceremony was absolutely perfect, full of tidbits of personal dairy entries and letters long ago written. You could honestly see and feel the love that these two share with each other. As I sat there a bit teary eyed I realized that these two have found and were living their fairy tale.

Words can not even begin to describe this event that the bride obviously had amazing vision to pull off. It was a antique country fair atmosphere. Complete with lemonade stands and a photo both. Bags of kettle corn and yummy BBQ. Apple crisp and even a small fire works show in the middle. It was stunning and beautiful and the perfect day for a wedding. Sort of makes me wish I could plan another wedding just to use some of the ideas.

Speaking of my own wedding though. I still believe that that one was the best wedding on earth by the way (well excfept my wedding photos those I hate and the thought of them makes me want to vomit or punch something) and yesterdays wedding had me thinking an awful lot.

There was something about the wedding yesterday that was similar to ours. A little extra feeling in the air that was unconcious and strong. Then I realized both weddings had a little something extra. They were the weddings of a boy and a girl who had grown up together, matured together and became man and women together. They were the weddings of long time high school sweethearts. Don't get me wrong, I have been to non high school sweetheart weddings that had just as much love but there was this history there. This easiness of having known your better half as a "child" and really that means something to me.

I sat there and held hands with the love of my life. My high school love. We tore up the dance floor, walked under the stars and sat by the marshmellow roasting fires and could not have been any deeper in love with each other. And after 11 years of being together and almost 5 of them being husband and wife I could not love that man he turned out to be anymore if I tried. I do fall in love with him over and over and have grown to love him deeper than I ever thought possible.

Yes I am one of the ones who lives the Fairy Tale, the annoying one who's spouse really truly is my best friend, the one that really never fights for longer than 20 minutes and always makes up with a kiss and a laugh. I am proud of my love I have found. We both are better people and combined our brain power is dangerous, as we are starting to now see in the personality of our little girl. Fairy Tales it seems really do come true :0)

LIVE LAUGH LOVE

Double Feature

As we gear up to attend out last wedding of the season, things most certainly have slowed down. Weekends are almost 100% ours again and the air is turning brisk. I LOVE LOVE LOVE fall its my favorite time of the year. I am having a hard time not being able to head out for a fall day run but with apple picking activities already underway and a fall camping trip scheduled I will deal :0) So I thought I would sneak in two small clips of the love of my life because like fall I am so in love with her. She makes me laugh so hard, so hopefully she can bring a smile to your face too :0)

deep breath....

The moment, I mean THE moment that a mother holds her baby in her arms, whether that baby was born vaginally, via c-section, born through the adoption process or by surrogate mother, the mother instantly starts holding her heart in her arms.

My heart started beating on the outside of my body on December 6, 2008 and from that moment on I could not imagine ever letting go. I am one of the lucky ones who gets to stay home and watch my heartbeat grow and soar, learn and discover. Sure that choice means that as I sit here my hair is in dire need of salon attention, I am adorned in less than fashionable clothes and the computer I type on is running in dumb down mode that doesn't even support a printer. We never take family vacations, instead we can make a pretty darn good fort getaway right here in our living room that holds mismatched hand me down furniture and 130 year old windows that probably need to be replaced. We have one car and that means on days like tomorrow Ella and I will have to stay home and discover things right here on P Street.

For the last 2 years and 9 months (as of Monday!) I have loved every bit of having my princess pie with me. I have loved having my little side kick through out the day to day routine and in fact would be willing to give up more to continue to make it happen. I think that is why it was so hard today to leave my heart standing in the middle of her classroom with tears streaming down her sweet little face. Blurred by my own tears I made it back down the stairs and out to the car before I could change my mind and scoop her up and just say the hell with it, mommy will home school. When your heart is on the outside of you it often times is just full of joy and wonder and amazement and love. But when your little heartbeat breaks your heart doesn't tear or break it shatters!

I sat in the parking lot of the doctor's office for 15 minutes composing myself to go in and have my 24 week appointment (oh gosh I am going to have to do this again with Thing 2 some day!) and reminding myself that it all will be ok. There will come a day that drop off is a simple back handed wave and a bye mom, then before I know it, its going to be the stay in the car mom so you don't embarrass me. And then oh God it's going to be the mom can you come with me to drop my baby off so I have someone there (Thanks Mom for coming today!). Boy does life speed up when your heart is on the outside.

I just need to remember to breathe deep and take it all in. My baby is grown up now and I need to let her go learn and discover without me. She is so smart I have no doubt she will soak it all in, but in the mean time I guess I need to get out the glue and put myself back together and hope that next Tuesday its a little less heart shattering....

LIVE LAUGH BREATHE!!!!!!!!

Paradise and tears...

It is the eve of my baby girl's first day of preschool. I find myself tearing up and having a really hard time putting on the brave front. I am keeping myself busy tonight so that I can be as occupied as possible but when Ella, fresh from a bath and in cuddly jammies, asked for a book and a snuggle I stopped all and happily squeezed in next to her. As I sat and read the back of my mind just kept thinking how did this happen? How did she get so big and so smart so fast? I know that school is going to be great for her. I know that after a few weeks she is going to love it. But tomorrow morning (as my chicken of a husband heads to work so HE doesn't have to be the bad guy) I am going to smile on the outside and be crying buckets on the inside as I leave my girl alone and nervous at school.

On a brighter and much more pleasant note, I did not have to drop her off yesterday (the real first day) since we were making our way back from the most fantastic family vacation ever. Set on a picturesque Maine island the vacation script could not have been more perfect. We left Saturday morning at 4 am to hit the 10 am ferry and boy it was great! We saw the sunrise on the way up and had blue skies for the ferry over. There was lots of kite flying, morning family snuggles in bed as the cool ocean air breezed through the open window and funny night time routines. There was hiking and fairy house building, picnics at the lake and delicious lobster dinners! We had crackling fires at night while we sat around and played games and ate some more. The deer came out to feed on apples, the butterflies swirled by and the mood was all about relaxation! We love the Isle Au Haut and are so very thankful that we are invited to experience the island life for the long weekend!!!