dance off

Dancing is a huge part of our nightly fact we have dance parties more nights than not. We clear the living room and we just dance until we drop and usually D and I drop waaaay before L. That girl can just keep going and going and going. This is her new favorite song and asks for the "Good night song" CONSTANTLY!

(PS Mia hope you enjoy and give mommy some smiles now!)

Serenity Now

So a PERFECT like seriously NOTHING went wrong weekend in NYC led to a let's just say less than perfect week. Dead mice, no heat, poopscapades, sore throat, ummm yeah so not perfect at all. Now factor in the fact that I have had an EXTREMELY sick little girl. So sick that she could not or would not get off the couch, she would not eat, drink, sleep, play. Nothing but watch Dora or Wonder Pets (THANK GOODNESS for Netflix). Well now she is better, much better in fact but instead of my independant player who is constantly acting out her imagination I have a child who still insists on things being catered to her way. Bedtime? A NIGHTMARE she only wants to sleep in mommy's bed, no tv? HORRENDOUS she wants the Wonder Pets "Just one more Wonder Pets" Food? FORGET it! So a recently better child with difinite opionions and the 2 year old age factor leaves me where? Oh yeah constatnly saying "SERENITY NOW". So if you need to look for me just look for the Kramer like person screaming SERENITY NOW!

PS I decided to write this now because it was either that or throw my child out the door on a winter day in Maine and my patience is tried but not that far gone. And what does she decide to do? Oh play like the sweet little independant player that she is. She loaded baby up in her carset, put her in the car with her coffee and now they are off to do grocery shopping and I believe I heard her tell baby that they were going to Twice the Fun too... Just when you think you are going to lose it they pull something so cute :0)

PPS I have decided that our journey through TTC was for the purpose of dealing with such an intelligent and passionate little girl that needed a mommy who could honor her independence and intelligence and realize that even though she *is* two she really is more like four....

NYC, sickies and a baby!

So where to start hmmmm...

A BABY! Yep that is right I will get to have those baby snuggles with a new niece or nephew in about 8 months or so. My sister called me last week to share the fantastic news with me and I could not be more excited for her. Now I just have to convince her that even though they don't want to know the sex it would be a good idea to let "Auntie" know for shopping escapades and going home outfit stuff. And yes I couldn't help myself and have already started buying little baby trinkets! I can almost smell that new baby smell now!!! Oh and when we told Ella that Auntie Mandy had a baby in her belly, she marched over, lifted up her shirt and said "I don't see no baby" I think it is going to be great watching Ella welcome Baby G into the world!

Next how about NEW YORK CITY! I just spent a fantastic weekend with seriously the most amazing group of women. We have all known each other for not that very long (Me being the newbie in the group) but we got along and traveled so well! The five hour car ride was quick, the laughter was great, and the secret sharing was open. I have never felt so comfortable to share and be myself. We went and saw "Avenue Q" and found that yes "everyone is a little bit racist", "internet is for porn (invest now!)" and "Fox news is only for now, along with sex and hair". Ate NY pizza and bagels. Did the whole Time Square and 5th Avenue expierence and ate at Seraphina for seriously the BEST raviloi ever!!! (Which we were all craving after I told them about my mother-in-laws fantastic raviloi).

Unfortunately when I got back Sunday I came home to a very sick little girl. She was super sick and was diagnosed with a stomach virus and then a double ear infection (yet again!) There has been no sleep for me in days and I am dragging, my heart is breaking watching my little baby struggle to breathe during coughing fits and I just want to see her sassy little self tell me to "get that finger out of my face you are making me nervous" I don't care if she yells at me I just want to see some life and spunk back in her. I did however, come home to flowers from Derrick and a card saying how much they missed me....super suprised and nice to see! (Although I wonder if I was only missed because Ella was so But back to reality of taking care of my baby, cursing the forever not working furnace and trying to stay warm in the cold!

Paci Fairy

The dreaded Paci Fairy was scheduled to stop at our house Friday night. Ella and I talked all week about it. She even told me a Dora backpack is what she wanted the fairy to leave. Perfect I had some Toys R Us bucks ($14 to be exact) that needed to be used then anyway. So we set off to get the backpack and Ella found it and fell in love I mean IN LOVE. She has not yet taken the backpack off (at night we have to hang it by her bed) even in the car she wears it on her belly so she can still wear it.

Well anyway we got home Friday night and I said grab your backpack its time for bed and I think the Paci Fairy came while we were gone... Ummmm yes the PURE DEVASTATION that followed was heart breaking. I was crying she was crying and D was just saying please let's not do this. After all really what is the harm of her having her paci for 15 minutes every night? Well we found an "old" one (which HAD to be pink NOT purple) and gave it to her, the results instant paranoia that she has to see the paci to make sure no one took it...

Well last night after watching a disappointing Pat's game we head home. Let her watch one Dora, read in our bed and then we bring her to her room for bed time. We read 2 books and then instead of seeking out paci and asking where it was, she asked for her "E" that sits on the windowsill as part of her L O V E letters. I gave it to her and ummm she went to bed.... There was NO talk of paci, no crying and no middle of the night frantic wake ups demanding it. This morning she asked for her "E" again and I gladly gave it.

Looks like we are on our way to being paci free without any drama and L is also starting to recognize and understand letters. (E is for Ella and Elephant and Egg is what I heard this morning from her!)

Procreation Vacations...???

So I am not a stranger to the whole TTC (trying to conceive) process. In fact we have been there done that and may find that we have to do it again when we are ready for Baby Brown #2. But it's really been weighing on my mind lately. I have some very good friends who are wonderful parents who are TTC now, I have jumped for joy when friends who have TdTC for so long finally got that long awaited BFP (Big Fat Positive) and I have sat and prayed for my friends who are still on the TTC journey that I met when I first started the journey to Ella.

I have to tell you that TTC is a pretty passionate topic for me and it angers me to no end when opps oh my I am preggo again and don't even want to be words are heard, or thinking about the people who don't even care enough about their babies to stop drinking and smoking or drugs. Knowing that there are some out there who get the joy of having children but don't even realize it. I actaully can't even go into how angry and unfair the whole process seems so I wont...I can't get worked up tonight but I am outraged by it.

So as I sit here and share info when asked and support when needed, I also pray that all those who so deserve and desire the little rays of sunshine be blessed with them soon!!! And to offer this:

The process is hard, it is difficult. You will feel like a failure and broken. You will cry and hurt, scream and withdraw. Life will seem like it just keeps throwing you mountains to climb instead of rocking chairs to rock those sleepy little bundles. But there is someone there for you if you want. I am always open to share the journey we were on and in the mean time plan a little procreation vacation... Maybe next time we will just start with one of those...

Best of luck and much baby dust to all of you on this torturous roller coaster called TTC!!!!

upcoming events

So never have I ever...

Yes there are a lot of things that I have never done and although I have played the never have I ever drinking game I am usually the first one drunk and out before it really even gets started since I have to drink for everything...but I am getting to cross a couple things off my list including a girls only weekend in NYC!

We leave in 10 days to enjoy a quick fun girls night away in NYC to celebrate Julie's 30th birthday! I can not wait I am super excited. I have never been to NYC before (well once but I really don't care to mention that trip and it was only for a few hours and I was in P A I N ! which made it seem like a trip from hell) We are going to road trip out there, do all the tourist things (Hello naked cowboy in Time Square!) and then glam up for a night on the town. I can't wait 4 hot mamas are ready to have some fun!!!

But before that I need to focus on the event of tonight... a pj dance party happening right here in our living room. Music will be blaring, jammies will be on and fun is going to be had by all. L has the best dance moves and she will for sure show D and I up but eh what can we say, we are the embarassing parents afterall! Oh and I think we may just may end the night with some ice cream sundaes as a special treat (I have been working my big ole butt out so why not have a treat right?)

Then in a couple weeks it is a glamorous trip to Meriden, CT where D and I will probably get in trouble acting like childless college kids... FUN WILL BE HAD!


Ever watch the Price is Right? When the contestant sees it is a new car behind the curtain? Well I happened to have an addiction to the show when I was a wee child and well really did not stop watching it until my college days (Basically when Drew Carey replaced Bob Baker since Carey drives me a little bit insane...) Well I always always always used to think about or I guess you would say dream about going on and winning "A NEEEEEEEEEEW CAR!" Well, remember my last post? I am NOT a lucky girl (in a car winning way, I know I am super lucky in a love and life way) so that would NEVER happen to me.

However, with the transmission about to drop out of my POS Pacifica we needed to win a new car (very wishful thinking!) or buy one. And since we are a one car family right now (by choice) then we had to sit down together and figure something out. You see I am and always will be an SUV girl. And D he is a practical man. Which as you can imagine do not mix well when buying a joint car. So we went back and forth and I was going to settle for a smaller SUV (Jeep Compass) but then D made a very logical argument (which by the way he was SHOCKED he only had to pitch it to me once and I was aboard. I am a smart girl I get it sometimes!) He pitched the whole well let's get the commuter car now (we were going to do this in a year or two) that way we get a brand new car, have a complete warranty on it, it is reliable, gets great gas millage (therefore saving us money right now), and then will be my car when you get the car you really want in a few years...ummm ok I am game. Makes sense and an SUV girl can drive *someone* elses car for awhile, right?

So last night after sitting at the dealership for 5 hours we drove home in a 2011 Nissan Versa SL hatchback. It has a navi and xm radio (which I can NOT tell you how excited I am to have xm back!!! It is only a 3 month trial BUT D will purchase it after it is up so I get something I like out of this deal). It is silver and roomy on the inside and had a grand total of 20 miles on it. 10 of which we put on ourselves in the test driving circle we did. So yep I am now the proud owner of a brand new car for the very first time.

And it's really not a bad little thing to drive for an SUV type of girl :0)


Well after spending a day broken down with no phone and trudging a 2 year old out into the cold to a place where we could alert Triple A, finding out my car is not worth any more than what we owe (in fact it's worth less than what we owe), and coming home to a over $2000 bill from a medical procedure done over a year ago you would probably assume that no I am not a lucky person. And you would be right I am not a lucky person. I lost my phone, I broke down, I have a furnace that never works, I never win ANYTHING and I usually end up finding out about amazing deals only after they are over. In fact as I type this I am so overwhelmed with it all that I feel like the littlest thing will literally make my head explode.

In fact the only thing holding me together is my saving grace of a daughter. I mean I think all my luck was used up in the making of her but that is fine by me! She seriously is the most beautiful, intelligent, humorous little girl out there. And she made me laugh through out this horrendous day.

And I know that I said it all wouldn't be roses anymore on the blog but now that I am home I know that I am blessed. After all I broke down outside a library that let me use their computers to contact Triple A. Triple A sent out a very nice and friendly guy, Derrick ended up finding me and we had a picnic in the car for lunch, and Derrick also called the insurance company (since I fought with them last time) and found out the bill was payed in full last week. So yeah still no phone and a shitty car BUT a good cocktail and my funny girl are making me feel "alll better"!

Ringing in 2011

It's a new year and I have a hard time believing that it can be better than the last one. I mean I just had a really really really memorable 2010 and I am in love with my life. As 2010 was going out though we lost my phone (ok *I* lost my phone) my car is broken (ok our only car) and the furnace is continually shutting down and the house is FREEZING... So maybe 2011 will bring us a new phone (yes thanks to Lauren!) a new car (hopefully over the next few days) and a trip to Hawaii to stay warm through the coldest months...

We will see but even if those things don't happen it is fine by me because I am surrounded by the loves of my life and happiness.

So here is to 2011 and fulfilling my resolutions:

#1: Take time for me. Wear make-up daily and do my hair in new ways. I want to be a young and trendy mom NOT the haggled looking mom.

#2: Pay it forward as much as I can and try to do something every month that makes some stranger smile.

#3: Of course blog more. I have been very absent here and I need to blog more often and not always about good things I need to blog about the good, the bad and the ugly!

By the way Ella is also doing herself up every day *all by herself*