Before I even started writing today I knew it would be a tough blog to write. I even went into the kitchen and poured myself a large glass of milk and tore open the Oreos to grab a handful only to find just one lonely old Oreo left. My wonderful husband must have been having Oreos for breakfast. I should know better to leave them out in the open. If I do they dissappear faster than my waist would if I could eat them.

Anyway I have been thinking lately about blogging and cenorship. I find myself really checking what I write on here in fear that I would or could offend someone. Offending anyone would be something I would NEVER want to do. However, at the same time I feel that I am holding a lot of things back. I hold a lot of things in. Things bother me, have been bothering me and I NEVER say anything about them. I usually just sit there with a smile on my face and nod to whatever is going on. I then will have a bitch fest with a certain few that I feel like I can trust 100% and most of the time that works and I feel better. But there are some things that just don't seem to be getting better and I seem to just be dwelling on them.

I try not to let things get me down. After all having a positive outlook makes things so much better but I can't help but have my feelings hurt. Really I am a senstive person I KNOW that I really do. I try to work with that and let things roll off my back but every so often I fail miserably at it.

*and with that I have written and rewritten some feelings that I just can't bring myself to throw out there. Although it did feel good to write and then see my feelings being validated right there in black and white since validation of me is what seems to be my problem lately... (sorry those certain few it looks like you will continue to have to listen to me when I feel the need to vent...)

It's the little things...

Really out of everything that I could dream of having: trips around the world, enough money to buy myself a billion Coach bags, a beautiful grand house, my dream car, diamonds and pearls, money for a tummy tuck and a boob lift, seriously out of anything I can think of, the thing I would want the MOST.... is the little things that I already have.

Each and every day I am just so amazed at how lucky I am to listen to my daughter sing in the back seat. Have you heard her rendition of "Twinkle twinkle" yet? Just tonight I was sitting here thinking that I would not trade in any of my little moments for all the gold in the world. I love each and every little thing that I am blessed with. I love that my husband is a complete half in our parenting. In fact he is doing bath time right now so I can get a break and type this. He also finished up dinner tonight so I could go for a run (by the way I ran another 3 miles straight!) I love that my dad came to the rescue for Ella today with a special delivery of two pumpkins to replace the ones that were smashed last night. In fact I loved the light in Ella's eyes as she spotted her Papa's truck out the window and the delight she took in decorating her pumpkin with stickers. I love enjoying a bowl of ice cream on the couch wrapped in a blanket while the fire is on. I love apple picking and hay rides. I love hiking and car rides. I love the fact that I hear Ella asking me to come up to read to her right now....

I love how I just spent 10 minutes reading and rocking with my daughter who knows the words on the page before I say them because we read her favorite books every night. I love how her bed time routine has morphed into family time since she insists that mommy and daddy read to her and hug her and kiss her. I love how I know when I go get her in the morning she is going to smile at me and ask for breakfast.

So I guess I would rather have ice cream on the couch then diamonds and pearls. I would rather have my soul mate who is an amazing father then enough money to buy a billion Coach bags. I would rather have car rides and hay rides then trips around the world. A family that cares so much for Ella that they go out of their way to put a smile on her face then a beautiful grand house and my dream car. My little peanut butter pie who caused the tummy roll (who am I kidding it was there before Ella) and the sagging sisters more then money for a tummy tuck and a boob lift. And yes I have a definite new favorite song in "Twinkle twinkle"!