Male View

Usually and more like always you can tell what a member of the male species is thinking at any given point. (It's really not that hard, if they are at work it's about work. If they are in the kitchen it's about food... and so on and so forth) However, very rarely do they actually communicate the thoughts in a way that a women stands up and says YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! Especially thoughts that are laden with emotion and routed in the heart. For most men those heart to heart type of conversations just don't happen. They show their love by working hard to support their family or maybe by even remembering to pick their underwear up off the bathroom floor.

Being a part of the TTC community for so long I have stumbled across many many many a women who feels beat down, lost and completely and totally broken. We form support groups, message boards, email trains, even Facebook groups to be able to have a place to go where people get us. We can speak our true feelings and not have anyone judging and beaming on the inside that thankfully they will never even have to begin to experience what we are going through. We get each other, we get the insane intense emotions that journey brings. We get the intense hate you feel for your body, how you begin to lose touch with your spouse and all of that. We women TALK to each other and listen to each other. However, in most cases we never talk to our husbands with the same openness and at the same level. I for one really did not want my husband to really have to deal with all the crap I was wading through.

Recently one of my lovely TTC buddies (Whom by the way I am routing for hard core this month!!!!!!!!) posted an article she had found. Husbands: What to Expect When She is not Expecting was written by a man and after I read it, had that man been standing in front of me reading it, I would have stood up and cheered loudly. The article touched me, it spoke to me and it made me see the light.

Why hadn't I talked to D more about this: "This is because many women consider infertility to be a shameful topic. And, because of it, there's a good chance your wife is feeling scared, embarrassed and inadequate." Ummm yes HELLO yes exactly it! I am a women I am supposed to be able to conquer all. In no way am I going to let anyone, even my husband, know how severely I am failing! Really I am women hear me ROAR!!! The article actually was meant for men to get there wives. And men who are in a TTC journey right now its a great place to start to be able to add help to the situation! Take his 5 rules and use them! However, it also showed me a little about myself through the whole process as well.

My favorite line was when he was talking about men sucking it up to take a semen analysis test but really I could have applied it to all the insane amount of blood work, poking, prodding, internal ultra sounds and personal questions fielded: "Get over it. Infertility is demoralizing, invasive and messy. That's just the way it is. Sorry." Yep it really is just the way it is. Some day it will all be worth it but when you are stuck in the middle of the journey, keep your head up and get over it :0)

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