Word Choice

So obviously as the days tick by I am becoming increasingly aware that the process of labor and birth is almost upon me. So of course the thoughts of the event are taking front and center stage in my thought process. It is hard to forget for even a second that it is about to happen. I mean the shear size of my belly that I am sporting is enough to jog the thoughts, add in all the texts, emails, calls, facebook posts and concerned "How are you feeling" comments and its BAM right there in my face.

So here is what I am thinking:

Being an American women I have grown up hearing stories of the horrendous pain, intolerable pain, the just plain horribleness of this journey into the world. The first time around I would sit in the teachers room eating lunch while the unsolicited comments rolled in or even just standing in the line at the grocery store women found the need to tell me about the most horrible thing that ever happened to them. Once I let it be known I planned to have Ella with no drugs whatsoever the comments of how I would be begging BEGGING for an epi followed at the end of each horrendous birth story. Even MEN would say NO WAY YOU ARE GOING TO GET AN EPI, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN DO IT!

Well, guess what folks? I did it, I labored with no meds and I brought my baby girl into the world without feeling the ring of fire or being scared for life. Was it uncomfortable, well it wasn't a vacation. But it was something more. During each contraction I knew it was bringing me closer to her, that my body was working the way it should be. After 18 months of TTC and thinking my body was so flawed it was nice to know that it was working just fine, thank you very much.

And this time? This time I learned something new. I learned during our Hypnobirthing classes that it was ME that caused the 56 hour labor marathon for Ella. Why you ask? Well here in the states women LOVE to outdo one another with the gruesome details of labor and delivery. They love to tell each women just how much of a traumatic event unfolded for them. What do these stories do? They put a stigma on birth. They condition each one of us to FEAR birth. It is something that is a medical procedure that requires medication to get through. We have turned birth into a procedure and not a natural journey.

Each birth story told that focuses on the pain of the event and not the natural beauty emphasizes the fear women carry. Think about it. Women in other countries literally stop working, go to the side of a field and have a baby and then return to work with no one knowing. Other mammals lay quietly in their dens and let nature take its course. So why do we choose to use words such as pain, fear, hurt to accompany what is a natural process? I mean I admit there are times when a birth isn't going right and yes it gets complicated and things need medical attention. But if we were just careful with our stories, with our word choices, women wouldn't fear this blessed event as much and be able to bring their babies into the world without the doubt and fear leading them. I labored for 56 hours because I listened to those birth stories. I was AFRAID to push, I was AFRAID the ring of fire as it is called would be too much. I was AFRAID that I would need to drugs to get through it all. I stopped my body with that fear. Because of it my body held back. It took FOREVER for it to get the job done because I was too afraid to let it do what it naturally does.

This time around, am I nervous? Um yes but not about the pain or discomfort. I am nervous because of anxiety that I have about things going badly. But I am wiping these thoughts from my brain. I have let them go, I have burned them in the fire. They have been replaced with the thoughts of having this baby in a calm, peaceful environment. Where we will work together and labor together because yes it is work to meet each other on the other side of it all. I am going to surrender my body to its own devices and try to keep, NO I WILL KEEP, my head clear. So my drug of choice? Positive affirmations and breathing. It's all I am going to need to get my baby here. And if you want to tell me your birth story, I would love to hear it but let's make it after I have this baby so I can keep my head clear of the American birth story :0)

Now, all that has to happen is baby needs to decide it wants out....like now! or now? How about now? I don't know but I am off to consume more pineapple :0)