follow up

So how do I even begin to blog again after that last post?

I have to say I got support in every direction. Some from the people I knew would be there for me and some unexpected surprises. I also know that some of you could have cared less and in fact just dismissed me and how I was feeling. That is fine cause this blog is for *me*. I can not tell you how much better I felt just "saying" it out loud. I can not tell you how much it means to me for the support that I have received and the kind words.

When you are stuck in a TTC rut, finding the good in things is really hard, but lately after posting the coming out blog, I have been able to see the good. I am able to see who my true friends are, and also that I am not alone. Some have shared stories with me and I have also been surfing the TTC blogs out there. As I got a shot in my bum the other day (TMI for most of you) I became so much more aware of the feelings of a fellow blogger who has a TTC #'s on her blog. How many times she has been poked and prodded and DTD and it all adds up to be stress baring down. I am lucky enough that I have never gone through the whole gamet and as this process continues D and I have some tough decisions to make. But through it all Ihave my blog and I have my friends and family and I also have running. The goal this year? To finish eight 5ks by November. Can I do it? Well with a little help from J and K (my running buddies) and enough stress to run from then I say BRING IT! The game is on. TTC is going to take a back seat to my goal and I get to enjoy time with my little princess. The doctors appointments will continue and D and I have alot to decide but hey life IS good and I am starting to feel light again, free again and happy again! I can actually breathe and not have to run from a bad day or plaster a fake smile. I am beginning to just be. I am learning to take time for *me*. Time to not think, not have to be in control and just have fun! In fact tonight L was gone to dinner with Nana and Grampy and D and I celebrated by drinking a bottle of champagne and watching a silly comedy picnic style with take out!

So for awhile at least this blog may be full of jumbled posts, some happy, some sad but I think my blog just found its purpose. As an outlet for me to unload all the feelings bottled up and I am not censoring myself anymore...