What a Saturday

Oh my so where to even begin?

Today started like any other Saturday, up and at em bright and early to hit the gym. The gym where yes we pay a pretty high fee to be members (Derrick and I like to joke about being Brad and Angelina minus the 12 kids and of course for me the awesome body) Anyway the gym has a kick boxing class the likes to kick my butt on Saturday mornings and the sore body is an excellent price to pay to get me out of bed early. We drop Ella of and hit the gym (Thanks Kelly by the way for taking her on Saturdays!) We leave both feeling bruised and battered and GREAT. I am getting closer to my goal which is to be the skinniest I have ever been and totally rock the bride's maids dress in July (a completely different story to blog about on another day).

Anyway so today the sun was shining the weather was a pleasant 70 degrees and our yard needs some major attention. This is where our normal Saturday turns out not so normal. We arrive home after talking the whole way on ways to beautify the yard. We have no clue what to do but we both know that the "hill" needs some major overhauling. we bring out the tools and begin.

Now both of us are mediocre landscapers (because yes Derrick insists we were landscaping NOT gardening) and have no clue what is what and just start hacking things out of the unruly hill that is threatening to overtake the side yard along with the street. It is going well and Derrick decided that an ax is just what we need to get the job done. Well the problem was the ax wasn't on a handle. No problem right? Just put it back on and get to work. Except in the process of that the ax head slips and lands on Derrick's knee causing a shallow yet pretty open (gapping?) cut. As I was chasing Ella around trying to force some sort of food down (an eating strike is again in process) I hear: "You need to take me to the hospital" Ummm what are you serious? No he can't be until I look and yep indeed a trip is in order. This is where the fun starts.

I run in and get a cloth to keep over the cut, load Ella in the car, find Derrick's wallet and my phone and head out to the walk in clinic that is open for only the next 20 minutes. We pull in and make it before they close. We wait 45 minutes only to be told yep in fact you do need stitches (no really?) but I can't do them so you have to go to the ER. Ummm ok now drop Ella off again at Kelly's (thanks!) and head over only to get there and realize that my scattered brain (which also forgot to fill out and hand in the papers needed to start work on Monday and random other important stuff that NEEDED to be done yesterday of course!) had forgot to take either one of our wallets out of the diaper bag which was 25 minutes away with Ella. That's ok the ER lady said I can call later with the insurance info, great I do need to be on the phone for hours tomorrow or better yet Monday my first day back getting this taken care of.

We wait in the ER waiting room where people around us have the worst diseases being spread by their constant hacking and unruly kids who probably do NOT need to be there but there is nothing better for their pajamma wearing mothers to do with them but watch free Nick Jr. Just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore we are called back by the nurse with the WORST demeaning attitude I have ever encountered. I can barely control my tongue until she finally leaves us for the doctor to come in. The doctor by the way was quite the character. I am not sure why but every staff memeber walking by kept asking "Bob do you have everything ok?" ummmm it made me wonder what "Bob" had done to make everyone feel like they need to check in on him. 5 stiches later Derrick is hassled by the male nurse who informs him that he almost lost a vital organ had the ax slipped any further up and a lady who couldn't keep her thoughts on track trying to discuss Derrick's discharge instructions, we finally make it out only to almost have to go back when Ella feel down the front steps and landed on her face at the bottom...

Oh and did I mention that I am still wearing my gym clothes and have yet to get a chance to shower? And poor Derrick who is also in gym clothes but was told he couldn't shower for 24 hours who at this moment is trying to figure out a way to keep one leg out of the shower...

Oh and by the way 6 hours ago I had way more funny one liners about the ER characters (or at least I think they were) but now all I want is a glass of wine, a shower and a good show to help get my scattered brain back in working order. Afterall I am a working girl again come Monday!